God Can Handle Your Anger
When my 17 year old nephew died, I was so confused and angry with God. During this fury of emotions a friend told me something that as a Christian, I had never considered before: “God can handle your anger.” My sister was understandably wrestling with significant anger toward God, too at the loss of her only son. I was so broken for her and couldn’t understand how this could happen, much of those days are still a fog. There in the wake of the tragedy, my friend Mande had given me the gift of knowing that I could take my anger to God. More importantly, she gave me the gift in knowing that I could trust Him with my sister’s anger, too.
God can handle your anger.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ANGRY AT GOD?
I could give you countless Bible stories of emotional outbursts that were unloaded at God during prayer. The Psalms are full of them. Jonah even yelled at God and told Him he wanted to die! (Jonah 4:1-3)
Out of the tragedy of losing my beloved nephew years ago, I learned it’s okay to be angry with God. Maybe today you need this permission, too? He loves you with an ever-lasting love and it is truly unconditional. You can express your frustration, brokenness, and your confusion to Him. Anger is so very human, and as a surface emotion it may be covering up a broken heart deep underneath. However, in order to reach the roots of our hurt, we have to break the soil of anger and begin the journey of processing.
BROKENNESS EXPRESSED CAN LEAD TO BEAUTIFUL THINGS
Six years after my nephew’s passing, I found myself utterly broken in the face of an overwhelming new difficulty. I was driving with hot tears pouring and my voice breaking as I shouted at God! “Fight for me!! You promised you would fight for me!!” I had received earth-shattering news and could not contain the emotional explosion that was happening within me.
Months later, during a time of prayer, I penned those words into a song to the Lord and captured them in my prayer journal. In Romans 8:28 fashion, God would later orchestrate my steps to become a contributor on a worship album for the church I was attending at that time. During that angry drive, I had unknowingly proclaimed the words to what would become part of the chorus in a beautiful song called Awaken Me. In my journal I had written:
Awaken me, Oh Holy One
breathe Your life into these veins
Fight for me,
I promise I will wait for you
Just kidding…the first three lines are my words, but that italicized line is not. The original chorus did not end was such a trusting and sweet statement. No, the original line continued on with that tear-filled, voice-breaking-shout of desperation “you promised you would fight for me!!!”
In one of my dark nights of the soul, I was angry and asking God where was He?! These words were born in a time that I needed Him to show up and show me somehow, someway that He was present! Because honestly, I could not see it while my world was crashing and crumbling around me. It was a desperate cry for Him to remind me that I can trust Him. How beautiful is it though, that out of that darkness, He allowed a message to be born that speaks hope through this precious song? I’ve learned through my dark nights of the soul, that God wastes absolutely nothing we entrust to Him.
Custom art by Sierra Jungyun Sim
ARE YOU QUESTIONING IF GOD CARES?
Do you find yourself currently broken over something, confused by the anguish in your soul? Feeling “soul tired” and just desperately need to know He cares? Oh mercy do I know that ache so well. I cannot take away your pain but, can I be the one to remind you that God does care! Oh beloved friend, He most certainly does!! The only one who can bring “beauty from ashes” has not left you! In fact, it is in this soul-crushing, broken-heartedness that He is absolutely near! Psalm 34:18 NLT promises “He is close to the broken-hearted and He rescues those whose spirits are crushed!”
Sometimes your breakthrough doesn’t come as swiftly as you hope, and heavier still, sometimes it doesn’t happen this side of Heaven. But what I do know with every fiber of my being is that HE IS FAITHFUL. Do not let your anger turn you away from Him. Stay in prayer, bring Him your anger and your anguish, stay in His Word. Please friend, keep leaning into Him. He’s so good and always near and you can trust Him.
Even in this.
Even now.
And then in someway that I cannot explain, somehow when you choose to look at Him even if in desperation, peace will come.
Set your eyes on Him. (Isaiah 26:3)
With love, Amy
